Chapter 14 - Quiet Desperation

Things had been going well for Tracy, that is until she was woken one night by the sound of an approaching truck. All of a sudden it got louder, much louder and she jumped out of bed just in time. The driver had obviously fallen asleep, had gone off the road and crashed clean through the house. The noise was deafening and before she knew it she was struggling to breath. She fumbled about in the dark, found some kind of cloth or clothing and held it to her mouth to filter out the dust. It was then that she noticed the dull pain in her right thigh. It continued to get worse. She put her hand on the pain, couldn't feel any cut and there was nothing sticking out. She must have been struck by some flying object. It was pitch black in her bedroom and she brought her panic under control. She had several headlamps dotted around the house in positions where she could find them in the dark by touch alone. Luckily one of them was in the bedroom on this side of the truck hanging off the hatstand in the corner. Within a few seconds she had found the hatstand and put the headlamp on. She couldn't see too clearly because of all the dust. However it was obvious that the truck was a wreck and there was no noise coming from inside. That was a bad sign. She couldn't see clearly enough to figure a way to get into the crushed cabin but she was starting to feel cold in her night attire and managed to get dressed while the dust cleared. It was a good thing she had baggy jeans because it was only just wide enough to accommodate her swollen leg. There was a penknife in her pocket so she could cut the fabric in case the swelling got any worse.

Still no noise from the cabin and she couldn't find her phone to call for help. At least there was no smell of fuel. Then, in the distance, she could hear sirens approaching. Without thinking she put her weight on her right leg. She winced at the pain but her leg took the weight. No broken bones, that was a relief. She more or less hoped out of the house to try and flag down the sirens. It was a useless gesture but the sirens were approaching anyway. Within a few minutes they had arrived and the place was crawling with paramedics and police. They were waiting for the "jaws of life" to arrive to prise open the cabin. Tracy was given a quick appraisal and the police offered to take her to hospital as there was only one ambulance. Obviously there was nothing to be done here and her leg needed checking out to see just how bad it really was. "You could very easily go into shock ma'am" one of the men told her. "Yes, yes of course. I'll jump in".

She was riding in with two police. How did you know about the accident she asked. The female officer, who was sitting in the back with her, answered. "Trucks these days are fitted with motion sensors. An extreme deceleration would have been detected and the gadgets do the rest, giving us the location automatically." It was good that Tracy was asking these questions. The officer kept the dialog going. "So you're sure there was no one else with you?" Tracy still had the presence of mind to recall Andy's instructions should the property ever come to the attention of the police for whatever reason. Don't lie, 'innocently' mislead. "I'm an employee getting a permaculture set up started up. They are becoming quite popular these days."

"Nothing illegal I hope?", it was a question that had to be asked.

"Not that I'm aware of, but feel free to look and only take the most picturesque of photos, it will help me keep my job.", Tracy laughed.

They would have a sniffer dog out there first thing in the morning. The emotional constitution of this woman was formidable. This wasn't the time to apply pressure, just in case she went into shock. To try later would be a useless gesture. If there was something out there the dog would pick it up.

They arrived at the Jerramungup Health Centre soon enough and after being admitted Tracy said bid the officers farewell. It was a quiet night and she was assisted by Joyce, a middle aged nurse, to change into a hospital gown. About half an hour later Dr Thomas arrived. He was an elderly country GP, "Hello, what can we do for you" Tracy gave him the nights events and told him of the pain in her thigh. "Lets take a look and see how it is." He drew back the linen, "Well it'll take a few weeks for that bruise to finally go away. I'll just get you to flex your knee while I feel it to make sure that you have joint integrity. Now the hip, just move your leg up ... and back down. You've suffered a blunt impact resulting in soft tissue damage. I'll give you a pain killer for that." He was seeing a woman with top genetics who was keeping herself very healthy - a rare combination.

"That's quite alright Doctor. If I can't feel the pain I'll start asking too much of it."

"You've had quite a night. I'm more concerned about you psychologically than physically. Are you feeling jittery, fearful, anxious?"

"I've had better nights. How is the truck driver."

"Nothing official yet, because they still haven't got the cabin open, but they are fearing the worst."

"Poor man, or was it a woman? I never did see."

"I know less than you, I'm afraid. But this little chat is all about you, Tracy. We have a counselling service available and you're also allowed to be human. It's ok to cry you know."

"Maybe I would cry if I weren't feeling so pissed off. I'd considered the possibility of a heavy vehicle accident, had a row with the boss in order to get bollards put into place and the suppliers sent me crap. I don't even know if I have a job left after this..."

With perfect timing another female officer approached the bed. "Tracy Thorpe? your phone and some clothes from the cupboard which escaped the dust. When you're feeling up to it, sometime tomorrow perhaps we would like a statement from you. Just a formality for the paperwork."

"Thank you. I have to phone my boss and find out if he can still afford to keep me on the payroll after this."

"I'm sure he would want you to rest", the officer replied.

After the doctor and the officer had left Joyce asked her if she would like a bed pan or crutches to go to the toilet. She opted for the crutches.

Tracy woke to breakfast and was lucky enough to have two. Joyce told her that the driver had died and that a suicide note had been found and he had overdosed. Both women cried and hugged each other. She then discharged herself and called Andy. "I'm just on my way to the cop shop, they want a statement from me. Walking on this leg is uhhrg. Fuck this shit, I'm calling a taxi. Do I still have a job after this set back."

"Well none of this is your fault, as long as you're OK that's all I'm worried about."

"I mean can you still afford to keep me on the payroll."

Time to put the business hat back on, thought Andy. "Financially its not the problem it looks. At least not for us. They cheap skated on the bollards, thinking they'd never be needed. I can get a forensic metallurgist out there to confirm that. Then we sue the arse out of the building company and find new builders and then get you back out there as soon as we can. I'd like you back in Albany for a few weeks to recharge and pull yourself together for attempt number 2."

"Sounds like a good plan."

"I'll send ... who shall it be ... Adrian to pick you up. He'll get a photo of you. He's one of our graduate lawyers. I'll text you his mobile and you can arrange a meeting place. His wearing his pin stripped tux today."

"Thanks Andy". She dialed the taxi which took her to the police station. That went smoothly enough. Obviously the sniffer dog had not found anything illegal, except what was in the trucks cabin. No mention of the excessive fertilizer on site. Afterwards she felt too lazy to be calling a taxi again. She limped to a cafe and sms'ed Adrian her coordinates. She was keeping her fluid intake high as per Doctors orders. Just after lunch Adrian walked through the door. Fuck is that the wimp that got sent to rescue me. She checked herself, where did that come from? He sat down and they made their introductions. He was to commence legal proceedings he excitedly told her. It was a first for him. "Well it's always a good thing when a boss has faith in you. Did you want to have a bite of something and afterward we can swing around to 'Andy's Ark', that's what I call it by the way, so you can see exactly what it is that you're suing over."

"I was given specific instructions to take you straight back."

Well whoppi-do-dah. I've almost been totaled by a truck, my leg is killing me, my permaculture project has been put back by months but I'm still expected to worry about specific fucking instructions... she checked herself again. "Yeah I can imagine how the conversation went, damsel in distress and all that. But the company has got a sizeable asset out there and I'm going to be sore no matter where I am. So lets just say that I've got a load of personal stuff to collect, including records that Andy considers confidential, and while I kept you waiting you had plenty of time to go over everything."

Adrian nodded, "Yeah, I can go along with that."

They both got up and for a split second he couldn't quite hide the fact that he was uncomfortable about her extra height. It didn't go unnoticed. If they're going to send a short arse could they at least have the decency to send one that's going to fantasise about being thrown around the bedroom. Tracy found this thought incredibly funny and it was all she could do to keep a straight face. Was this the start of the shock the doctor was referring to, the swinging of the emotions? Well if she was in for a rough ride its best that it happen out of town. They got in the ute and headed to the farm.

The trip was uneventful enough, until they got to the dirt track. They passed the gap where the truck had ripped through the shed, going down hill towards what remained of the house. "Whoa, it really got totaled", exclaimed Adrian.

"Ah, shit that last bump hurt my leg".

"Do you want me to kiss it better for you.", it was an out of character comment made on autopilot and a second later his usual inhibitions kicked in. He felt awkward, he looked awkward and something dark within Tracy seized on that. She felt a wave of calm superiority come over her.

"Oh try not to trouble yourself about that. I've still got enough strength left in my legs to snap your pencil neck." THIS WAS NOT HER!!!

More awkwardness he blushed deeply. "I don't know. I'm sorry, I guess what I said was ... expected."

Then she felt something stir within her, something she couldn't hold back. A nervous dark rage. "And you're just so good at meeting peoples wonderful fucking expectations aren't you. Stop the ute - NOW!!", she yelled.

The ute was only metres away from its final destination but he stopped right there. What she let out was too powerful to be a scream. It was a primal roar of suppressed rage and terror. She then burst into tears and cried herself out. After sometime Adrian felt it was safe to get out. He checked his mobile. Optus, out of range, fuck. This woman was in some kind of shock and he didn't know what to do or how much more of this he could take before he went off the deep end himself. She should have stayed in hospital another day and he should have come up tomorrow. Bit late now.

"I am sooo sorry Adrian. I have been a total bitch to you. None if this shit has anything to do with you. I mean look at that house, look at it! That could have been me in there and I tried to shrug it off and all of a sudden it just hit me. I'm lucky to be alive and all I can do is be a fucking cow to you."

Adrian knew what he had to do. He had to stay calm and ride this out. He had to stay calm - to be inhuman so someone else could be human. Again. He was always the one that had to carry the burden of everyone's sins. Christs job but he was only a man. What he had just witnessed had been buried deep within his psyche since he was a young child. When was he going to have his turn to let it all out. Would he ever get the chance? Or would he take his hate to the grave after leading a life of quiet desperation?